2019 Update

5 months have passed in what feels like weeks. As always I'm really bad at keeping this updated.

Since CPS left our home and we tried to rebuild bonds and work on trusting Lily she got a job, earned many benefits from said job and for some time things seemed to have a balance. Then as they always do a couple months go by and shes going missing. No communication, would claim work was keeping her over but is not there when someone tries to pick her up from work and those days her clock outs had magically vanished. We don't do much at first besides ask her whats up, tell her simple stupid things like hey just let us know where you are so we know your safe etc. The lies start to pile up again. Long story short, its December again, On the way home from work my wife stops by to see Lily at work. Shes not there. We call her, tell her she has so long before we report her as missing.

She panics runs home, shes out with some 18, 19 year olds, we knew this gave no shits but she comes home ready for a fight. She keeps yelling dumb shit like shell never give up her friends or some non sense like we want anything to do with them. We just wanted her safe. She wants to fight, shes trying really hard to make her mom lose her cool, saying hurtful shit like shes not her mom, just being a mean teenage shit. For some reason she thinks we want to go after her friends because of their age. I try hard to calm her down, she just grows more and more unstable until she threatens to call her grandma and will run away to live with her. I toss her the phone and say tell grandma I said hi.

After some talks with grandma Lily is now staying over there. We don't want her to run away but at least this way we know where she is. As always shes running her mouth telling people all kinds of "truths" of how we are all kinds of scary creepy assholes that want to control her life. The stupid ones believe her bullshit. Sorry that we don't want her dumb ass to get kidnapped or any of the other horrors going on in todays modern world. Guess asking your kid what shes up to is borderline super villain these days. Making sure she cant upload child porno crap on my network is also something a bad dad does? who knew?

January has been interesting, a month of healing and sadness. I'll start off with the sadness and end with the good stuff. Sad because shes completely cut us out of her life. Shes changed her phone number so she could do whatever with her phone. She got her grandma to open her a bank account that we have no access to. Cuz the way we set it up made her put some of her check in savings and others automatically to her bills. Thats too much control I guess? And the part the hurts the most is she no longer texts me everyday. When she went over there at first she texted every day to let me know shes ok. Now nothing, She had some problems with her new "friends" that she asked for my help on. I contacted the boy that was harassing her to stop, he in return told me what she had been up to. I shared this information with the grandparents to help keep Lily safe. What happens? do we have a convo to make sure shes going to be ok? No they get mad at me for prying in her life. They are allowed to do it not me I guess? and I only knew this shit cuz she got me involved. Its been a sad stupid mess. I want the best for her but every time I try I'm the bad guy. Word is now shes just out there doing whatever the fuck she wants being nasty. Hope its not true but as long as she stays safe thats my biggest worry. Time will tell.

On to the good stuff. Now that your all caught up in the hell thats been 2018, 2019 is looking different. While I still worry about her I've put my focus on the families health and well being. We started this month to cut the crap from our lives. I went through the house and just tossed out all the candy and super non healthy foodstuffs laying around. As of today I've lost 16 lbs and the wife and kids have also lost some lbs. For mental health we took a nice family trip to just remember what life was life without drama and stress and just all that daily crap we were drowning in. On the trip it was so nice to see the kids light up and just let go, so many smiles. Was nice to see everyone happy again. Since my eating habits have been better I have had a lot of energy. I cleaned up the stream station a couple days ago and it just feels so good to be able to sit here again. If things truly stick and the peace stays I can really think about streaming again. I'm scared to put too much thought into it thought because with a runaway out there we are one run in with the cops till CPS comes in again with their threats and therapy.

The kids the last month have really blossomed back into their happy selves. As I type this they are running around in the back yard playing again. They fight waaaay less with the drama gone. Harley is already 7 months old. Shes such a happy baby. Smiles at everything. It was very important to my wife that she said mom first so everyone coached her to say mom. She says mom all the time now. Zoey wanted her to say dad too so shes says that too but mainly when Moms not home lol.

2019 is looking to be a good one (in the home, no telling where the country is headed) We are all on the track to get healthy, WAY WAY less daily stress. I have San diego Comic con all booked, So July looks amazing. And Kingdom Hearts 3 is finally here.

I'm getting my PC all updated, hoping if Harley allows I can fire up some PC games (after Kingdom Hearts)

I'm sure I left out a bunch of details but i'm just catching you up, This is the short version lol. I do miss streaming, I think about you guys/gals a lot. Wondering how everyone is, How your lives are going for you? if that crap job is treating you better? or how your side hobbies are working out? If you have had any luck with the dating life? or if your loved ones are doing ok and on and on. I miss the people, I don't miss the trolls or all the side drama that comes with streaming. I look back now and cant believe I let that shit get to me. I still read over the discords and read whats still going on with communities and mods and asshats that run their mouths etc, don't miss that part at all lol.

For those who took the time to read this thank you. Thank you for still being concerned about the family and myself it means a lot. It's been over a year now since I had to take a "break" from streaming. This break sure doesnt feel like a break more like a forceful removal. I keep flirting with the idea that I could come back and stream ATLAS. that shit looks fun. I dont want to tease you though, Thats what I would like to do. Maybe just maybe if life permits soon enough :)

Take care, as always im a message away to chat.

Your friendly online bearded guy

Vazio