Fitness is F..Ff...Fu..Fantastic

True Story Broski:

As some of you may know this month I got to celebrate another year of being alive. One gift I received was a 1 year Gym Membership. Before you ask, yes this person likes me. It was not a hate gift lol.

The Idea behind the gift was sort of sweet, being a stay at home dad I hardly get away from the house much and if I leave it I normally bring its most important contents with me aka the kids. The Idea behind the gift was to give me an escape for a while but with the subtle hint that I need to work on my health.

So now I'm the proud owner of a gym membership, oh god I'm Scared. First of all making my body move just cause isn't one of its most favorite things to do. So I set a day, I don't want to be an asshat and not use the gift given to me. I set it up with my mother to watch my kids while I attempt to go. The night before I could not sleep. I tossed and turned. Going to the Gym was becoming like I had a life altering event coming up the next day. What’s this Gym going to be like? Wonder what kind of people use this gym? What the hell do I even do? Oh GAWD!

Next day feeling like a bag of moldy turds I go through my morning routine, friends I had told about are rooting me on saying things like "Hey everyone there is doing the same thing you’re doing, getting healthy or improving their body." Still nervous. I know it’s dumb but true. 15 minutes before it's time to drop the kids off, Hey kids grab your shoes let’s get going, your going to go play at Ava's house (grandma’s house in Portuguese) Normally the kids love to go spend forever there, its full of sugar, freedom and love. Not today....turned into.."I don’t want to go, I'm playing with Minecraft, I'm playing with my dolls, why do we have to go?!" and just like that every person in my house magically lost their shoes. After all the shoes had been discovered in the long lost temple of right in front of them. Then we had to hunt for all the magical stuffed animals and dolls that had to come on this one trip. 20 minutes later were in the car headed to my mom’s house.

We show up, I'm still not wanting to do this, only reason I've gotten this far is out of respect for the gift. I mean a year of gym is expensive. Well my child care is nowhere to be found. We wait for 20 minutes, in a minivan (yes the VazCar is a Minivan deal with it) with 3 pissed off kids that where just rushed from whatever the hell they were doing. I have enough, I is pissed, I decide I can no longer go today I have missed my window fighting with kids, I still have dinner to cook, laundry to do and homework to grade. I just can’t do this.

But I still need to get this feeling out of my gut, Well were all out of the house, lets drive down and see what’s this hellish place has to offer.

I walk in..I’m greeted with, "Hey! You must be here to sign up!" I’m like great first fucking thing you say to me is I am fat and I need you lol. I know I am jumping to conclusions, I mean It could be they never had seen me before, I could be I am walking in with 3 kids (even though they have expensive as hell Daycare available). I try to change the subject really fast by flashing my membership keychain thingy before she calls me something else. Come to find out the 1 year prepaid gym membership I have was not a thing, I was basically signed up for a monthly thing and hadn’t even started yet. Yay obligatory gift gym time was lifted!

Well I made it here I need to look around, now that the pressures gone and I have got myself in the mindset to get in shape, let’s do this! I grab ZoZo we walk behind the wall to see what kind of machines I need to go home and google to I know how to use them tomorrow and BAM. Turn the corner and at that moment I know I cannot do this. The Cardio isle is all staring at me holding my 4 year old. Now this area is just flooded with women of all beautiful shapes and sizes, this is Soccer Mom Island and I’m outnumbered. 20 plus of them one me one zozo. I’m thinking I’m here for cardio too?! I can’t just jump on a treadmill somewhere in the middle of this.

I run over to the weights, and the guys there all look like they have been there since the gym opened 500 years ago, Here I am with my Dad Bod litterly holding my kid. Ok I can’t do this. So we leave. I have kicked my own ass inside my head. Kind of felt like P.E. class during that weird puberty phase all over again. You know where everyone changed their clothes like the building was on fire except for that one kid that made everyone look at his special parts.

After all that I cancelled the Gym membership. I did feel defeated to be honest but I turned that around. I still had that fire I was ready to go work out. So I did! I set up my treadmill, been running on it every day since. It's only been a week but I do feel better. Been a pooping machine. Dropped 2 lbs., going to keep it up. My biggest motivator is that I cannot watch my anime shows until on the treadmill. Been Watching Parasyte finally. Also cleaned out a section next to my house where I plan to lift weights.

No real goal except to improve my health. Been eating less junk too. Smaller portions all that.

In the end of all this crazy I have to say the gift of the gym was really something, it motivated me to get off my ass and start moving again. Streaming on a constant schedule and being a stay at home dad have contributed to the Dadbod I have sculpted. I won’t lie the simple act of exercising for an hour after I stream has really lifted my spirits and I feel better. The days I take off to rest I can feel my body stiffen up.

Don't worry not going all super fitness on you. Just a story I wanted to share. Thanks for reading. Want to challenge me to do better? I welcome your challenges. Make me try harder. Maybe we can do some Extra Life Challenges :)